Rush Week

It's all about the little things, right?  This morning I woke up to find, for the first time since I've lived in Medan, that my water is working.  That's right!  On this Friday morning, my water was not cut off mid-shower.  For the first time, I did not have to run down the stairs with shampoo in my hair and soap in my eyes to tell my landlady TIDAK AIR (no water).  For the first time, I did not have to endure yet another chuckle at my expense from my landlady as she flips the switch to let the water run against gravity and up to the second floor and into my bathroom.  And for the first time, I did not shock the neighbors on the street who just so happened to be passing by at the exact same moment the ghostly white bule (ghostly white because of the soap on my face, oh and my pale skin that has already become my claim to fame in this unfair city) comes barreling down the stairs in a most immodest towel.  Yes, I think today will be a good day.

You see, I needed my water to be working this morning.  I needed it so badly because when I woke up, my first thought was, "*#@&^!#*, I'm still in Indonesia."  Then I weighed the pros and cons of not washing my hair today and calculated how much more time in bed and away from Indonesia I could have if I just said no.  The pros won.  The winning argument?  I have to wear a jilbab to work anyway.  I could not wash my hair for an entire year, and it wouldn't matter.  Most of my thoughts these days are pretty negative.

The thing is, I really do like Indonesia.  And I am SO EXCITED to be here.  And I am so grateful for this opportunity!  Just not today.  And probably not for the next couple of weeks.  I have hit the One Month Wall.  I hit it hard.  As my friend Wesley said (shout out to WESLEY and see you in TWO WEEKS!), how could I not hit The Wall with full force when right at the one month mark I am moved from 5-star resort heaven to real life in a developing country?  Man, I really miss that Sheraton.  And the reality is that I don't have it that bad.  I live in a brand new, clean room.  I am safe.  If I need something, I have people I can call.  I have running water (when my landlady remembers to turn on the switch), electricity, air conditioning, internet, and a cell phone.  I am in a good spot.  Despite the fact that I know all of this, I just cannot make my emotions catch up with my brain.  I ride the emotional roller coaster on express speed about 100 times a day.  One minute I think, "Man, this is awesome!  I can't believe I am in Indonesia!  I can totally do this!" and the next, it's "Why am I here?  I hate the food, I can't communicate, I don't know where I am, I miss my family and friends, this isn't worth it, I just want to go home."  By noon I'm already wanting to go back to sleep from the sheer exhaustion of these thoughts.  But I can't.  Why?  Because it's sorority rush month in MAN 1 Medan, and I have to put my best face forward so that people like me and don't think Americans are horrible Muslim-hating heathens.  Yeah, that's right.  I said it.

All this is to say that I was so naive to think that life in Indonesia would be a breeze.  I overestimated my own strength and underestimated the challenges of living in a foreign country.  Now I have to deal.  Thank goodness for my family and friends for letting me cry on the phone and rant and rave like a maniac (speaking of maniac, my mother did remark that my laugh is turning maniacal - uh oh!).  And I am so so so so grateful for my wonderful Fulbright friends around Indonesia who can relate to me and help me laugh about the ridiculousness that is too quickly becoming my normal everyday.  Y'all have no idea!  Finally, if there is any state department official monitoring my blog, I want to give props to AMINEF because Nellie, Astrid, Rizma, and Nadia are AMAZING women and work so hard to make sure we are safe and happy and taken care of.  They deserve a major pay raise!